Day 11 - Letter to a deceased person I wish I could talk to

Dear, Papo

It upsets me that even though you played a big part in my childhood, i can hardly remember you. You were like my father, hell you might as well been my father.

I remember little things about you. Like how every night before bed we got at the end of the bed and prayed, how every time you opened a beer you had me sip the foam from it secretly cause you didn't like it. I still remember my first day of school when i wore the Scottish outfit, and you were disappointed they made me take off the hat to it. I still know from this day the way you looked, the hat and gray jacket. But i don't remember much else after that.

I wish you were here, i wonder how Mamo would be if you never would have died. Wonder if she would still be living on Laurel St. Which by the way, that house is no longer existent. Condemned for druggies taking it over. I almost cried when i saw it on the "anti-meth" slide show in a school assembly one day, made all the good memory's seem irrelevant.

I'm sure if you were here, the previous letter i wrote to on this blog would of not been titled out to who it had been. I have heard of all the good things you did for the family, and how you kept us a whole. I'm sure Randy would of been long gone if you were here, and Rob wouldn't be taking advantage of Mamo the way he is.

Me and Shelby are no longer babies, we still fight and make each other cry, thats for sure. Shelby has a daughter now, her name is Emily. She is beautiful. The father isn't around, but you know how us Daniels are bad at picking out men. But out of all that mess Emily is here. I am getting married in exactly 5 days, no children yet, but there will be. I think i found the one person i could live with for the rest of my life. Too bad you couldn't of met him. I'm scared, Papo. There is no family for me to talk to about what i am about to do. No one to tell me if what i am doing is wrong or right, i am on my own. Sometimes i wish i did have a father figure in my life, someone that acted like they cared who i dated or went with on dates but i don't, i sure you would of.

I don't remember your birthday, or the year you died. But i will never forget that you died on my birthday. And for a long time i think Mamo never wanted to celebrate my birthday due to that. Mamo has changed a lot. I don't know if you would consider it good or bad. I could go on about the family, but i think i will save that for further letters to you.

Thanks for being there as much as you could, if it wasnt for you i might of never been in this family, and been long forgotten by now.

Love always and Forever,

Kbaby